If there’s anything I think I am more at heart with — it would have to be old-fashioned. I love Frank Sinatra, I’m obsessed with French chivalry and I thought the world depicted in “Dick Tracy” was one of the most appealing times to live in.

Unfortunately, it’s this same love of everything past which has created a lot of confusion about a facet of everyday life: courting. For those of you unfamiliar with the word, it’s an archaic form of the word “dating.” It’s both confusing in how the process has changed throughout history, as well as how it’s recently changed.

I’ve been exposed to a great many courting rituals through reading and viewing I’ve done in my life — the humorous subtleties depicted by Shakespeare, the paseo described in Michener’s “Mexico,” and even the awkward, yet romantic escapades of badly-dressed youths found in almost any stereotypical ’80s movie.

But in their own ways, each of these rituals made sense. There were specific, unspoken signals in each time period. There were rules of engagement, which for the most part, everyone followed. A gentleman coming to visit a lady would mean intent of marriage, and compliments in return would mean her expressed consent.

Enter the 20th century.

In the 20th century, two things happened which led us to where we are as far as American courting rituals are concerned: gender roles became increasingly less-defined, and views toward sex became more and more liberal.

Our resulting situation is confusion. Never before in history have genders complained more about not being able to understand each other.

Men, through both personal experiences and what the entertainment media depicts in movies and television, have been taught to be more sensitive. They need to take the caring approach by seeking relationships as opposed to one-night stands, respecting women and their wants and expressing their emotions.

Women, through the same media, have been given surges of empowerment; women can be strong. They don’t need men to get by and long relationships are something to be sought after college — after they’ve had their fun.

As a result, it seems courting behavior has changed drastically. Occasionally the guys are the one using subtlety, testing the waters, passing secret notes and finding out through friends whether a girl is interested in them. And in the same token, women are becoming more assertive, often being more straightforward with their intentions, flirting rampantly and asking guys out on dates — something unheard of 50 years ago.

Kissing, which used to be a trademark symbol of romantic intent, is now used more recreationally. A kiss can now mean nothing more than slight interest and instead, just desire to have fun. Sex in the past 40 years has also become just as meaningless. The act — which was once almost always performed in marriage — has become less spiritual and emotionally binding, and more commonplace among two people who might never talk again afterwards.

Even cuddling, which had always been considered a more intimate substitute for sex for two people to show exclusive affection, has become commonplace among women who want sensitive attention without any commitment.

Now that traditional symbols of affection have been warped and/or obliterated, confusion ensues. Men and women alike need to regain some respect for physical actions and the mental by-products they create in the minds of those they associate with. Without re-establishing some sort of meaning in the ways people interact with the opposite sex, people will continue being left alone with the thoughts, “Why am I alone?” “What went wrong?” and “I thought she liked me.”

Kyle Woodley is The Lantern opinion editor and loves to cuddle. He can be reached for comment at [email protected].