Lets face it. This is not exactly the prettiest time of the year. While walking across campus through the sludge and looking up at the dull, gray sky, I ask myself what could be worse than these few brutal months.
Well, this year I found the answer — the futility of Ohio’s sports franchises.
Last week, ESPN The Magazine confirmed what many of us have accepted for the last few years in its “The Ultimate Standings” franchise rankings. Out of 121 pro franchises in Major League Baseball, the NFL, NHL and NBA, we had the worst around. The leader of the pack was the Cleveland Browns at No. 64, then came the Cleveland Indians and Cincinnati Reds at No. 92 and No. 93, respectively. The plummet continues with the Cleveland Cavaliers at No. 106 and dead last — yep you guessed it — at No. 118, the Cincinnati Bengals.
Perhaps the state’s best hope — the Columbus Blue Jackets — were not ranked because they have not been in existence for three complete seasons.
The magazine did not base its findings on just wins and losses alone. They crunched numbers based on 34,000 fans’ responses in eight different categories, which included “bang for the buck.” This section was the most heavily rated and measured how many wins the fans got for the money they spent. The other categories were fan relations, ownership, affordability, stadium experience, players, coaches and championships.
The top franchise in the nation — according to the rankings — turned out to be the Green Bay Packers.
Although not handed a fate similar to the other Ohio teams, the Blue Jackets were tabbed as having the second-best stadium experience and were ranked No. 9 in fan relations.
That is as good as it got for the state that has become the Siberia of professional sports. The Bengals did not achieve higher than No. 116 in any category. Mike Brown was named the second-worst owner, losing only to Major League Baseball itself, which controls the Montreal Expos.
Furthermore, Cincinnati was named the worst sports city, while Cleveland was only two better at No. 30.
Low marks were given to Reds’ owner Carl Lindner for the eighth-lowest payroll in baseball, and skipper Bob Boone for using 129 different line-ups in a 162-game schedule. Like the Bengals, the Cavs were ranked in the lower 20 in every category.
All this is baffling and painful from the inside, and a decade-long comedy to the rest of the sports world. Only in Ohio would an NBA team care what a high-schooler like LeBron James thinks about its coaching change.
The embarrassing thing about it all is Ohio had a prominent role in the development of some of the pro sports these rankings covered. The NFL was founded in Ohio. Paul Brown, who coached the Buckeyes to a national championship in 1942 and later founded the Browns and Bengals, introduced all of the current staples of the game except the actual ball. Don’t forget about the Redlegs, who were the first professional baseball team.
The only short-term hope of things turning around is the Browns’ return to the playoffs and the Bengals hiring Marvin Lewis. Other than that, there is very little light at the end of the tunnel.
Maybe that is why fans went so nuts over Ohio State’s championship. It was the first major world or national championship since the Reds shocked everyone in 1990.
What makes Ohio’s futility even tougher to swallow is the quality of prep and collegiate athletes the state produces.
Here’s a solution which could help the state of the game: get rid of the Bengals in favor of the Buckeyes, and allow James and his Akron St. Vincent-St. Mary prep squad to take over for the Cavs. Do you think anyone would be able to tell the difference? They couldn’t do any worse.
Nick Houser is a senior in journalism and can be reached at [email protected]. He is relieved Ohio is now known for something other than its bad presidents.
