What happens to an OSU student’s Saturday night plans after watching the Bucks lose to Michigan?

The night is shot, you’re in a bad mood. Cancel the hotel reservations on Bourbon Street, and pout for four hours.

It’s only 7:30 p.m., the night is still young, and you’ve got friends in town who want to have a good time. So what could you possibly do to try and take the pain away?

You improvise.

You decide to go eat dinner. But first you play cards for awhile to see who gets to drink for free. After an hour and a half of Texas Hold-Em and a case of beer, you head out.

You pull into Rooster’s parking lot at about 9:30 p.m.. You get seated and immediately order two pitchers of beer. One for the champ to drink and one for everyone else to split. After ordering you decide to start making bets.

One guy decides he can eat seven saltine crackers in one minute without taking a drink of anything. You throw down a ten-spot. You win, he can’t do it.

Another guy claims it can be done and that he can do it in half of a minute, but he needs two to one odds. You throw down another 10 and watch as he nearly chokes to death and runs to the bathroom.

The food finally arrives and you smell another bet. After watching your friend eat the first of five Super Killer wings (the hottest they have) and say they’re not that hot, you decide to make him put his money where his mouth is. He’s got two minutes to finish the wings without drinking anything. You put the 20 you just won down and watch it slip away. But it’s worth it to see you’re friends lips burn off. Time to go.

You drive back to the apartment and call a cab to take you to Brothers. You keep drinking though because you’ve got to keep the pain blocked out.

You get to Brothers and start ordering Jaeger Bombs. Your group of people gets split up so you walk around looking for people you know. You see girls you’ve met before and some you’ve gotten to know pretty well. Some thoughts start to fill your head, but you’re saved when you see your friends.

You feel even better once you realize they’ve got a group of good looking girls talking to them. More Jaeger Bombs…and a few beers.

You start talking to one of the girls and begin to become a little fond of her. There’s only one thing to do. Dance.

You’re whole group heads to the dance floor. After about four songs and three beers spilled on you, you decide to head out. There’s eight of you and only one car. So instead of taking a cab, eight people pile into a 1988 Honda Accord. Three up front, five in the back and one 230-pound guy laying across the top with his head out one window and his feet out the other.

You get to your friend’s house and decide to continue the party because it still hurts. You drink a few more and listen to your friends drunk-dial everyone in their phones, even though no one wants to hear from them at 3 a.m. At 3:30, the first warriors start to fall. They want to go to bed, so it’s time to get another cab.

Six people pile in a cab to head home. You walk in and open the fridge to find some presents waiting on you. An unopened case of beer and a few half-full bottles of liquor. It’s a good thing too because you need just a little more help to forget about the game.

After about an hour you realize you’re missing someone. One of your roommates is gone. He called his 38-year-old sugar mama to come pick him up. After making fun of him, you head to your room.

You wake up at noon and realize your guests’ have kindly let themselves out.  You walk downstairs to find your friends watching TV and talking about the night before.

Everyone remembers something about last night, but no one seems to know why we were in such a bad mood.

Erik Bussa is a senior in agricultural communications. He can be reached for comment at [email protected].