I’m supposed to graduate college in four weeks, and I don’t know if I want to. Why would I? I’ve got it made now. All I’m going to do is worry more than I already do now.
I’ll have to worry about getting a job. I’ll have to worry about completely supporting myself financially. I’ll have to worry about being late for work. I’ll have to worry about everything I don’t have to worry about now.
Until I meet the girl I’m going to marry and have kids with, I’m pretty sure my life will start to take a sharp decline from the moment I walk across the platform.
I don’t want to get a job. I don’t want to have to go to a 9-to-5 every day. That’s going to be terrible. I have a hard enough time sitting through an hour and a half of lecture; how am I going to make it through an eight hour or longer day?
There are days when I wake up and don’t feel like going to class so I don’t go. They’re called weekdays. Maybe this is why it’s taken me four-and-a-half years to graduate instead of four, but I’m not complaining.
I stay up late every night. If I’m in bed before 3 a.m. then I probably didn’t have a very good night or I drank too much. I like staying up late for no reason. If I have to be at work every day at 8 or 9 o’clock, I’m going to have to start going to bed earlier and I don’t want to.
I’m completely broke. I have no money, and I like it that way. I love to see how far I can make the $140 stretch that I get every two weeks from my part-time job. I like having to choose between going out on Wednesday night or putting gas in my car Thursday morning. Most people would think getting a job would solve this problem. Not me – I know how I am.
I’ll probably get a lousy job just like every other graduate, making around 30 G’s a year and thinking I’m rich. I’ll probably buy a new car, buy new clothes and throw money around like Richard Pryor did in “Brewster’s Millions.” I’ll end up more broke than I am now.
I like being in college because I like being around college-aged kids. I don’t particularly care for how “adults” act. I don’t think I’ll ever enjoy being an adult, mainly because I don’t like responsibility. I don’t like being responsible and often I try to be as irresponsible as possible.
If I had a choice, I would make every weekend into a four-day weekend. Thursday and Friday would consist of going out and having a good time and Saturday and Sunday would consist of me sitting around my messy apartment in my underwear eating cereal and watching golf, NASCAR, old movies and “The Price is Right” on TV all day long.
I dare someone to come up with a better plan than that.
The best of the best I’m afraid to let go of from college are the summers. No one can convince me there is anything more satisfying that playing golf at 8, napping from noon to 2, going to a pool and drinking beer until 7, napping from 7 to 9 and then getting ready and going out. The only way to go up from there is to do exactly the same, but at the beach.
So that’s it. I just don’t want to grow up, I guess. Maybe you think I’m crazy, maybe you think I’m immature. Well, I know you are, but what am I?
Erik Bussa is a senior in agricultural communications. He can be reached for comment at [email protected].
