My knees were literally shaking as the puck dropped at center ice in Joe Louis Arena. Sure, I’d seen many pucks drop here before, so that part of the experience wasn’t new to me.

Being on the ice for the dropping was, however. One thought raced through my mind: What the heck was I doing here?

Let me back up a bit. As you may or may not know, I covered the men’s ice hockey team here at Ohio State during their season. The CCHA tournament at the end of the season takes place in the Joe, and before the tournament gets underway there is a Media Game. All of us hockey enthusiasts who sweated for our respective teams all season were offered the opportunity to lace up our skates and show our skills in one of hockey’s most venerated arenas.

Sounds great, right? One minor problem. I’m a fake. I am no hockey player. I never have been, and I probably never will be. Sure, I can fake it off the ice. As the season progressed I managed to sound like I knew what I was talking about in my articles. I even acted like I could play when I would interview the players.

“You should come see my intramural team!” I’d tell them. “We’re going to the championship this year, just you wait! We’re awesome!”

This wasn’t a complete lie. I do play D-league intramural ice hockey here at OSU. The full truth is that I play ice hockey … badly.

Stopping on skates? I still haven’t figured that one out. Slapshots? Not allowed in D-league, sorry. Offsides? Please, I can barely turn without worrying about that one.

So you can see my worries as I took to the ice in the CCHA Media All-Star Game. It’s one thing to mess around here at the OSU Ice Rink late at night, but there is no room for error at Joe Louis Arena.

This is a place that athletes train their entire lives for a chance to play in, and I was simply handed a chance to accomplish that goal. Truly, it was an opportunity that I could not let pass me by. This would be my chance to start spring break off with a bang.

Buckeye head coach John Markell had some good advice for me when I jokingly asked if I could bum some equipment from the team.

“Get a jockstrap!” he advised.

Now this was a new fear. Pucks seldom are lifted above the knees in D-league intramural hockey. Great, just something else to worry about.

Eventually, I armed myself with more borrowed equipment than I knew what to do with and made the drive accompanied by my family, who had never even seen me on ice skates. I only started playing ice hockey when I arrived here at OSU, and they had never been able to make the 1:15 a.m. games on Thursday mornings. Go figure.

I checked in and proudly received my jersey. My name was on my white jersey and everything. In half an hour I was going to play a real game at a real arena. The nerves started shaking at this point as I put on my equipment and tried to fit in.

By the time warm-ups were over, my cover had been blown. Everyone was skating at one end and taking practice shots, so I decided to grab a puck and head to the other end and warm up with less people around. I grabbed a puck and skated across the ice, absolutely beaming. I was going to take a breakaway across center ice and score a goal in Joe Louis Arena.

I faked low and wristed the puck up high on the open net, proud that I even got the puck off the ice.

CLANG! My shot went right off the top crossbar. Access denied. From up in the seats, I could hear my little brother booing me. And my parents were rolling when I tried a slapshot and completely missed.

Despite this, I was one of the starters. I’d like to think that I held my own, but that’s a secret between me, Joe Louis and my teammates. I will say this: I had a perfect chance to score but, alas, pulled the shot wide.

The game ended with my team on the short end of a 5-3 decision. I had a rating of +1 and had an assist. As I wiped the sweat from my brow and savored the moment my next goal became clear:

Walk onto the OSU varsity team next season.

Adam Jardy is a third-year senior majoring in journalism. Offer him skating tips at at [email protected].