For most of us, the beginning of spring quarter means bright sunshine, warm weather and the imminent arrival of summer. The majority of students see it as a time of fun, spring football and parties on Monday nights. However, there is a small minority which greets the onset of this quarter as a foreboding omen of doom. Who are these poor souls who raise their fists in anger at the rising sun? They are the students who are taking the MCAT.

These students are easily recognizable from the rest of the student body. They are obvious from their pale appearances, having not seen the sun in months due to their studying. Their faces are contorted in permanent scowls, as they have spent every Friday and Saturday night since Christmas in their rooms, cursing their existence. They have shot out of rooms on Saturday nights, angrily accosting any and all who disturb their peace. The pressure placed upon them by this test has driven them nearly insane.

Their symptoms have only gotten worse in recent weeks, as the MCAT is now less than two weeks away. Normal conversation can quickly go sour, depending on their mood. Evening sightings have decreased down to nearly zero. Most of my house is leaving town the night before the MCAT, in fear of an increasingly angry roommate desperately in need of happy pills and a hug.

For those of you who aren’t familiar with this evil test, let me give you some background. This is the biggest test that any student attempting to get into medical school can take. It can make or break your dreams to become a doctor. The test itself begins at 7 on a Saturday morning and can last until 6 or 7 at night. It is a minimum of eight hours of mind-numbing, hand-cramping hell. In short, the extreme symptoms of MCAT anxiety are warranted.

As I know a few people who are attempting this test, I can testify firsthand about their mental states. Let me tell you, they are not good. One of my friends is a guy named Parker. Parker was well known for playing poker any time and anywhere. He was also a frequent fixture on our weekend agendas. However, the MCAT study effort has prevented him from playing more than once since winter break. His appearances during the weekends have decreased exponentially. He even turned 21 on Monday, yet isn’t celebrating until the day after the MCAT.

Another student, lets call him Rick, has been studying since the fall. During the fall, he would go out one weekend night and study the other. Since the beginning of winter quarter, he’s gone out, maybe, five times. Increasingly, his demeanor has led him to charge into rooms full of people, angrily admonishing them all for their perceived lack of respect for quiet. This, of course, occurs on Friday nights.

However, in all fairness, I can’t honestly blame them for their surliness and short tempers. Part of studying for this test means taking one or two practice tests in the months leading up to the real deal. Those practice tests last a good eight or nine hours. It is common for students to take weekly Saturday classes – which most of us remember from our SAT days. Frequently, the students arrive before 8 a.m. and leave after dark. It is a grueling process. So when April 16 rolls around and you see a couple of people that you haven’t seen in months, you’ll know the MCAT is finally over. Just make sure you get them home before they pass out on the barroom floor.

Matt Baxendell is a junior in civil engineering. He can be reached for comment at [email protected].