Stephen Ames learned a very valuable lesson this week – talk trash to Tiger Woods and prepare to get worked.

Though claiming he was just joking around, Ames said before the match that, “anything can happen, especially the way he is hitting the ball.” Though that might not seem like much, except maybe a personal attempt to build confidence, it is essentially a challenge to one’s manhood on the golf course. To claim that Tiger was having difficulty hitting his driver is to question whether Tiger possesses the most basic talent in golf. Let’s just say Tiger did not take the criticism well.

For those of you who do not follow golf, you have probably never heard of Stephen Ames. Check that – for those of you who do follow golf, you have probably never heard of Stephen Ames. The 41-year-old Canadian is currently ranked 171st on the money list, has missed his last three cuts and has a season-high finish of 44th.

Ames talking trash to Tiger is essentially the same thing as me walking up to UFC champ Chuck Liddell and saying, “Hey Chuck, saw that your last fight went more than one round. Looks like I could probably kick your ass, huh?”

I’m going to assume the result would be similar to Ames beat down, except where he was losing holes, I would be losing limbs.

Everyone knows Tiger Woods. He is the Michael Jordan or Wayne Gretzky of his sport – he transcends the game. He is his own market, a complete package deal that is an advertiser’s dream. Oh, and one minor detail – he’s absolutely amazing at golf.

If you compare Ames’ season stats to Tiger’s, you will get a clearer picture of the enormous difference in situations.

Tiger has one more top-10 than Ames this season. Tiger has one more victory than Ames this season. Tiger has won 904,000 more dollars than Ames this season.

Ames has played in four tournaments; Tiger has played in one full tournament. Needless to say, there is a slight difference.

All of this being said, I congratulate Ames on his competitive spirit. I guess it’s a lot better than just rolling over when he found out that his opening-round opponent of the Accenture Match Play Challenge was Woods.

At the same time, Woods has won the event twice in his career and is famous for his match-play abilities. Through his U.S. Amateur titles to Ryder and President Cups, Tiger’s ability to break down opponents both mentally and physically in a one-on-one match is the stuff of legends.

Following the whipping that took a grand total of 10 holes to finish, Ames was a gracious loser and Woods was a slyly confidant winner. In agreeing with the fact that yes, he had heard what Ames had said, yes it had motivated him, and, no he would not care to elaborate on what that meant. Tiger’s match-play mystique only grew.

Golf is not a game that is usually associated with having a swagger, but this man has a swagger and it would be difficult for me to believe that the rest of the player’s on tour do not fear it a little bit.

You kind of get the feeling that if Woods were playing baseball, he just would have pimped a 500-foot home run, or in football he would currently be standing over a quarterback he had just knocked in to next week. That’s the type of competitor he is, and even in a gentleman’s sport it is both impressive and very intimidating.

Stephen Ames was the vehicle for much of the golf world to learn a very important lesson this week – talk trash to Tiger at your own risk. If you do, you can bet that Tiger will do everything in his power to absolutely embarrass you when you tee off, and I cannot think of many people on the PGA tour or off who would enjoy that experience.

Phil Mattingly is a senior in English. He has no intention of challenging Chuck Liddell to a fight. He can be reached at [email protected].