Two events over the weekend led me to question how I defined metal music. The first was the Jagermeister Music Tour at the Lifestyle Communities Pavilion, and the other was a themed birthday party.

Let me preclude this by explaining my views on the subject going into the weekend. I do not listen to Disturbed. I do not listen to, God forbid, Godsmack. I listen to Lamb of God, In Flames, High on Fire — the bands that write the songs you can’t beat on “Guitar Hero.” In other words, I set a fairly high standard for what is brutal enough to be metal.

I was forced to reconsider after meeting a young man with somewhat different views at a party this weekend.

The theme of the party was “M.” If it began with the letter “M,” it was a viable costume. The young man (I honestly didn’t catch his name) was wearing all black, an ammo belt and an Iron Maiden T-shirt. I, being outspoken on the subject matter and mildly buzzed, explained to him why Iron Maiden was not, in my humble opinion, a metal band.

He listened politely (to his credit), and we talked for a little while on bands we both enjoy, such as Lamb of God (note: I do enjoy Iron Maiden, I just didn’t consider them metal per se), before splitting ways. It seemed based on our conversation that my measurement of metal was based mainly on instrumental ideas, whereas my new friend focused more on attitudes.

It pained me to admit it, but he was right.

Iron Maiden might not use too much double-bass drumming or drop-D guitar tuning, but it speaks the same language to its fans as Lamb of God does to its fans. I roll my eyes at my father when he turns on Metallica’s self-titled “black album,” and he cringes when I turn on Suicide Silence’s “No Time To Bleed,” but we’re listening for the same reason: to build up some confidence or to vent after a rough day. Who am I to say that what does the job for him doesn’t qualify?

After having this realization, I began thinking about the Jagermeister tour on Sunday, a gig that featured Slayer, Megadeth and Anthrax. They make up three of the “big four” of thrash metal (Metallica is the fourth). Thrash has always been an iffy prospect for me. Slayer is widely recognized as the origin of modern “death” metal, but I’ve often shunted acts like Megadeth and Anthrax as not being heavy enough to be true metal.

Although it’s easy for someone with tastes as heavy as mine to relegate Megadeth to the “hard rock” pile, I figured that such judgment would be unfair because there are groups that consider my tastes pathetic and fake.

The most hardcore members of the Scandinavian “black metal” scene scoff at American attempts at metal. These individuals go beyond singing about the grotesque; they live it. Activities among these bands include, but are not limited to: burning churches, killing each other, killing themselves and, rumor has it, eating the members who kill themselves. I would challenge anyone who has seen me in a mosh pit to call me “not metal,” but it’s tough to argue with people who eat each other.

The point is this: Metal is what you make of it. If you’re having a bad day, if you’re getting ready to go for a run, if you just need to scream, you can put on whatever does the trick and it’ll be metal. I offer my apologies to all those whose music taste I’ve ridiculed in the past. Go out, listen to what you like and be happy.

Maybe not the last part.