Fishbowl Improv, a campus improv comedy troupe that has provided free shows for students since 2009, won best student organization with more than 15 percent of votes. In lieu of a profile, The Lantern asked the group for its take on how students can best cope with a semester ending in self-isolation. The views expressed do not represent those of The Lantern.
As Ohio State continues to work to smooth the transition of bringing this semester’s classes online, students are grappling with ways to recreate the atmosphere of THE Ohio State University. Although you may be stuck at your parents’, here are some easy ways to bring the Ohio State experience to your permanent residence.
Set up construction
- Make sure your environment is never too quiet by creating your own construction. Start by knocking down your kitchen walls and installing a crane to sit idly for months on end. Take it a step further by streaming construction sounds through the night
Honor the Michigan rivalry
- Cover the M’s on your mom’s inspirational signs with red X’s. Begin a hunt for any blue and yellow articles of clothing in your household and burn them while singing “Carmen Ohio.”
Become acquaintances with your family
- Before dinner, have your family members go around and say their names, years, majors and a fun fact.
Recreate the aromas of the Oval
- You know that sweet springtime smell on the Oval? Now is your chance to bring it to your home. Round up a bunch of skunks and set them loose in your house to simulate the ginkgo berries. Yum!
Rub your dad’s bald head to do well on your online finals
- There is no denying our finals scores will decline during this period of virtual learning. With the library is closed, no one will be able to rub William Oxley Thompson’s illustrious bronze bust, but any bald head will do in a pinch. Any time you pass your bald dad in the living room, give that egg a rub.
Use Duo Mobile to get in your house
- Truly central to the Ohio State experience is Duo’s two-step authentication service. To get into your front door, knock twice, ring the doorbell, spin around, recite “Carmen Ohio” and then open it. Don’t forget a step, or you’ll be locked out.
OUABreakfast in Bed
- No need to worry about missing the OUABest events of the year — just create your own! Stand in line in your kitchen for an hour, then make yourself some eggs and toast and eat it right in bed.
Take a stroll on the Oval
- Mow strips of your lawn down and fill it in with concrete. You’ll be walking back and forth on your own personal Oval in no time.
Spring Concert is still on!
- Get ready to rock family style. These artists are so exclusive, OUAB couldn’t even get them. Jam out to the classics: an old VHS tape of your family singing Christmas carols and the one song your little sister knows on violin. “Ode to Joy” is RIGHT.
Get to your online class in style
- Install a CABS branded stairlift. Don’t forget to hold on!
Celebrate the Spring Game
- Wake up at 8 a.m. to drink Natural Light and watch your brother play Madden NFL.
Keep your frat parties A-list
- When your postal worker or food delivery arrives, don’t just let them in! Ask them who they know there and then look through poorly constructed Google Sheets for a few seconds before deciding to just take the mail or food anyway.
Don’t let your fake go to waste
- Use a fake ID to get into the over-60 shopping hours at the grocery store. Make sure you know your ZIP code!
Ice your loved ones
- The only true way to consummate a friendship is by Icing them. Your family will never see it coming! Totally OWN your grandma by mailing her an Ice.
Feed your Fish!
- There is truly no way to recreate the magic of a Fishbowl Improv (Ohio State’s best student organization) show, but you can pass the time by staring at your family’s beta fish. Is it dead, or does it just not move that much? Who knows? You can rest easy, though, knowing that the fish in Fishbowl Improv will be back when you return to campus in the fall. In the meantime, follow us on social media (@fishbowlimprov) for humorous posts to get you through this trying time.
Thank you for voting us the best student organization!
Editor’s note: Outreach and Engagement Editor Lily Maslia also serves as president of Fishbowl Improv.