The WNBA held a preseason game at Nationwide Arena on Sunday. Former Ohio State star Katie Smith and the Detroit Shock battled the Washington Mystics.

Instead of going to the game, I spent the $17 a ticket would’ve cost me on a bag of confetti. I promptly opened the bag, threw the confetti in the air and celebrated yet another day of not having to watch the WNBA.

I’d rather go fishing with Scott Peterson than watch the WNBA.

Insensitive? Sure. But you try watching women’s basketball.

The league is entering its eleventh season, and if all goes to plan, it will be the first profitable season in the league’s history.

Eleven years and the league has still failed to make profit. Why is it still around?

The stars make next to nothing. OSU women’s basketball star Jessica Davenport, second overall pick in the 2007 WNBA Draft, is set to make about $43,200.

OSU men’s basketball player Daequan Cook, a likely mid-to-late second-round selection, will earn six to 10 times that.

Many of the players join leagues overseas during the offseason for additional income.

It’s no surprise that the same people who have a World Series for darts would actually pay these women upwards of a million dollars for their inferior brand of hoops.

It will never take off in America, but that doesn’t stop the league from trying.

The new WNBA ad campaign features NBA players sitting around with their daughters as the girls fake enthusiasm for another fun-filled season of lay-ups and turnovers.

There’s no way those girls have any desire to attend a WNBA game. Why? Because somewhere between the day their father hooked up with that stripper (commonly known as conception) and the day the stripper began her quest for gold (better known as birth), these girls developed a brain.

If you grew up watching your father play in the NBA every night, would you really feel like going to a WNBA game? And if not you, then who?

The target audience consists of families with nothing to do, and members of households who happened to lose power for the evening.

The league couldn’t even sustain a presence on the Lifetime or Oxygen networks. In retrospect, the move to those networks wasn’t very smart, considering each is based around four-hour-long “epic” movies that convince women to avoid playing with balls.

Now, because of a tie-in from the NBA television deal, ABC, ESPN and ESPN2 have the rights to WNBA contests. Thankfully, the right to show them is completely different than the act of actually doing so.

After watching one of the most entertaining first rounds in recent NBA playoff history, it’s obvious why the WNBA struggles.

Flashy dunks, rapid fast-breaks, sick crossovers and vicious blocks aren’t a part of its repertoire.

I couldn’t begin to tell you the number of times I jumped up out of my chair during the Golden State-Dallas series the last two weeks.

WNBA fans don’t have the energy of Golden State fans. WNBA players don’t have the ability to rise above normal human capability like Baron Davis or possess the cool-under-pressure shooting of Jerry Stackhouse.

More people could name the last three World Series of Poker winners than WNBA MVPs.

No amount of ex-OSU players could keep me glued to a WNBA game.

I’ll enjoy these next six weeks of NBA action while I can.

Zack Timmons can be reached at [email protected].