After a circus-like atmosphere at the Colonial last week, where a woman played a few holes, the PGA Tour arrives in Columbus with slightly less controversy.

It is time again for the Memorial, the Tour event that Jack Nicklaus hosts at his own course – the Muirfield Village Golf Club in Dublin. The tournament will feature 105 of the best golfers in the world including Vijay Singh, Ernie Els and Tiger Woods.

Whether or not you play golf or even watch golf, if you have the opportunity to attend this event, I highly recommend it. For those of you planning on heading out to the course, here are a few suggestions to help make the tournament feel more like a circus.

There are a few things you don’t want to do:

1. Do not under any circumstances wear golf shoes to Muirfield. You are not playing in the tournament, you are watching it. Your soft spikes do not give you a better view.

2. Do not ask for autographs of players if you are older than 12. It means the world to a 7 year old to have a player sign his hat; you just want to tell your friends that you met Jim Furyk. No you didn’t, you merely got his autograph.

3. Do not be the dope that yells “you da man” after every tee shot of every player. Besides sounding incredibly moronic, these guys know that they are “da man”, hence why they are playing in the tournament.

Now on to more important issues, like the things you should do while at Muirfield. Before leaving home grab an umbrella. It will inevitably rain. It does every year. Some blame bad luck, others like myself, blame Leatherlips.

Legend has it that Muirfield Village is built on an old Indian burial ground. Leatherlips was a Wyandot chief who was resting there and was unearthed during construction. Since no one likes to be woken up, especially after decades of sleep, he cursed the place. Many believe the curse has taken the form of nasty weather, and they are probably right because it has rained at eight of the last 10 Memorials.

Your first stop once you are inside the gates should be at the pavilion next to the clubhouse. Buy a three cheese on rye sandwich. I understand that this sounds extremely ordinary, and it is, except for the fun little mustard they put on it. It has become somewhat of a Memorial tradition. Just try it.

You will also need a beverage to quench your thirst; I always go with a beer.

If you have time, and if you don’t you should make time, visit the driving range and watch Tiger Woods hit golf balls. Even if you don’t like golf and are there just for the beer…err… atmosphere, you absolutely have to see Tiger hit. It is just plain incredible. Trust me on this one.

If you are there to watch some real golf, relax, for I have taken the liberty of finding some of the best places at Muirfield to view the tourney.

The grandstand behind the 15th tee box is the best location on the course, primarily because it is close to all of the amenities. There is a concession stand less than 50 yards away with a beer-only line (they really have thought of everything). On your way back to the grandstand you will pass the restrooms/shelter (see Leatherlips).

If you grab a seat in the last row of the bleachers, you can see all the way up the 15th fairway. Fifteen is a par five, and most players will be hitting driver off the tee, so you get to watch these pros crush the ball. Occasionally, someone will hook one and put it in the trees, which is very amusing to people like myself.

If you strategically place yourself in the last row of the 15th stands you can turn around and watch the players putt on the 14th green. So you will have a constant stream of golf to watch, whether on the tee or on the green. It gives you the best of both worlds.

After all of the golfers have moved through the 15th tee, you can leave your spot in the bleachers and head up to the 18th green to get a nice seat for the finish. I suggest sitting in the back right, up on the hill, you can see virtually the entire hole.

Mike Burcham is a senior in journalism. He can be reached at [email protected].