Dear Harlan,
A few weeks ago, I met a girl while standing in line for movie tickets. At the time it didn’t cross my mind to pursue a relationship with her. A week later, I called one of my friends from high school and learned that girl in line was my friend’s younger sister. She had known who I was, but I didn’t know her.
The older sister told me that the younger sister was interested in going out. So I called her and we set up a time and a place. I picked her up after a school event, and we went to a coffee shop. When we got there, she found several friends (mostly guys) and basically ignored me.
Eventually, we ended up at somebody’s house with about 10 people who knew each other, but not me. I felt very uncomfortable. After awhile, my date must have noticed. She said, “If you’re bored you can leave. We’ll do something together later.”
This was more than a little confusing. It was like being rejected with the promise of being “un-rejected” later. I don’t know what to think or do. Should I keep trying or move on? For more background, she’s 16 and is very social. I’m 20. Thanks for your help.
AS
Dear AS,
The only explanations — she didn’t realize that you were on a date or she’s trying to use you to get her and her guy friends into R rated movies.
But really, I don’t know how this girl could not realize she was wrong. It’s rude and immature. Yes, she’s young but that’s no excuse. I’d tell her that the timing is off and move forward. Let it go. Give her a couple of years to grow up and try again … That is unless she already asked you to go to junior prom.
Dear Harlan,
I’m a 22-year-old guy who graduated from truck driving school last June. It’s been almost two years since I’ve had a job. I’ve applied too just about every company I know and they all say the same thing, “We can’t hire you unless you have some experience.” That’s fine, but where do I go to get this experience when no one is hiring me? I’m almost 23 years old and living at home. I want to move ahead instead of always being behind in life. Any suggestions are appreciated.
In for the long haul
Dear Long Haul,
Like driving cross-country, in order to get where you want to go, you need a map and you need someone to help map out your future.
Start by contacting professionals at the school you graduated from. Look for someone to mentor and guide you. If there’s no one at school, look to those already in the business. Build relationships with potential employers. Simply call and ask for an informational interview with the boss. Then bounce off some questions. Ask him or her the best way to get where you want to go. Who knows? They might offer you a job or refer you to a friend in the business.
Never stop believing in yourself. Understand that everyone’s road to success is paved with normal rejection. Perseverance, passion, and building relationships will help you navigate the obstacles and get wherever it is you want to go.
Need advice? Write Harlan at [email protected] or online at www.helpmeharlan.com. All letters submitted become property of the author. Copyright Harlan Cohen
