Cohabitation can be thought of as a couple testing the waters before taking the plunge into marriage.
A new study unearthed the surprising results that only 40 percent of cohabiting couples take their relationships to the next level with marriage and 42 percent disagree on the future of their relationships.
“I was wondering how couple-level agreement regarding plans for the future, particularly marriage plans, affected whether cohabiting couples actually married,” said Sharon Sassler, co-author of the study and assistant professor in the Department of Sociology.
“When you see women’s magazines at the checkout counter at the grocery store, they always make it seem like women are trying to chase down men and get them to marry, while men are hiding under rocks or are commitment-phobic,” she said. “But that’s just something put out there by women’s magazines, not supported by research.”
Sassler decided to find the truth.
“You could call it a test of the Glamour-Cosmo hypothesis, that men just don’t want to marry,” she said.
The study acquired its information from the National Survey of Families and Households. Information that was collected from 13,008 people, 670 of which were cohabitants. The survey returned four to seven years later to conduct second interviews with each of the participants, Sassler said.
Sassler found 350 people initially questioned did not provide a complete second interview. The majority of those cohabitants whom replied had the highest level of education and income, she said.
What remained was a set that excluded those who were poorer and less educated. This data had to be repaired for the sake of accuracy. To do this, the information from the known population was analyzed and a hypothetical outcome was formed for each original interviewee who did not participate in the second interview, Sassler said.
The statistical technique is the first time such an application has been used.
“We think that our repaired sample gives us a better grip on the real outcomes of cohabitants, rather than a rosier picture of what proportion marry when you focus only on the cohabitants with the best economic characteristics,” Sassler said.
The results of this study suggests men who marry and men who decide to cohabit are different, she said.
“I find it interesting that men who want to marry more than their female partner are no more likely to actualize their desires to marry than are couples where the woman has more definite plans about marriage,” Sassler said. “Those couples that disagreed regarding future plans were significantly more likely to break up than marry.”
“I found out after moving in with the guy I loved that I could never marry him. He was obsessed with walking down the aisle. I was only twenty-one,” said Elizabeth Whigman who lived with her boyfriend for three years.
“We broke up because I just wasn’t ready for that kind of relationship. I’m still not,” she said.
Couples should discuss future plans together before signing a lease, Sassler said.
“Couple level agreement was one of the strongest predictors of the study,” she said.
Adam Cummins, an undecided freshman, and Kimberly Schwartz, a senior in music education, have dated and lived together for six months, but have been friends for four years.
“I really hope to marry Kim one day. I want everything to work out,” Cummins said.
“I love Adam and really care for him, but who knows what the future holds? We’ll just take things day-to-day and see what happens. I’m open to anything,” Schwartz said.
Complete agreement is the key to a successful cohabitation to marriage transition.
“I just keep thinking of that cliché, ‘It takes two to tango.’ It also takes two to agree to marry and for a marriage to take place,” Sassler said.
