Whoopeedoo! It talks. So can I. Thank goodness no one is fighting over me.I am still quite concerned about some of those with whom we share this planet. The battle for Furby dolls is just the latest in the ludicrous weakness of a seemingly sane society to buy into the hype of temporary happiness. If the elves could create a race of toys to interact with us, they wouldn’t be able to keep them in supply, regardless of the price. Toys are much easier to control than people. All we have to do is take away the batteries and slam them against the wall.But when we’re dealing with people, we actually have to consider their emotions, their physical pain, their psychological torment, their values and beliefs. Folks want company, or at least someone or something that will listen to them. But many don’t want to waste time worrying about the feelings of others. Just listen and shut up. The human approach would require a degree of love, which can’t be found in a mentality that lacks a commitment to reciprocity.So for now, folks are running over one another to get to Furby, a bizarre cross between an alarm clock and furry bird. The doll is simply 1998’s symbol of the commercialization of what was once a reflective, winter holiday season – so I’m told, for in my short lifetime, I’ve never seen it.It doesn’t matter if it’s Tickle Me Elmo, Cabbage Patch Kids, My Buddy or Kid Sister. If it’s new and desired by many, we want it, too. We don’t want our kids mad at Santa Claus because if he doesn’t make the kids happy, the kids won’t necessarily behave all year to make him happy. But this sickness runs deeper than a yearning to pacify boys and girls into compliance with the rules of proper conduct. Most of these Furby dolls probably won’t even find themselves in gift boxes. Even if the kids are given this toy and are allowed to keep it in their room, do you think they’ll have exclusive rights to it? Certainly not in all cases. The taste of Tony’s Frosted Flakes isn’t the only thing adults haven’t outgrown.Paul Harvey may know the rest of the story. I can only speculate. What I think we’re seeing is largely a quest for victory. If we don’t make it to the stores at 2 a.m., we’ve lost to a more dedicated consumer. The obstacle of lateness may lead to a Plan B, which might entail a few athletic maneuvers to blow past our opponents – fellow shoppers – and pounce on a Furby before it disappears. Of course, we need precise timing to burst through the door immediately after it’s opened by the store manager. After we get the toy, we’ve got to clutch it tightly, or a stronger consumer might strip it from us. Remember, it’s not ours until we have the receipt – and no, we can’t just steal someone else’s receipt.Don’t get me wrong. I understand the obsession over toys. I used to play with them myself. I could conjure up the greatest scripts detailing wars between the Autobots and Decepticons with my Transformers. I would hold my plastic sword aloft and say “By the Power of Grayskull” better than He-Man or She-Ra ever could. I would often hold a G.I. Joe action figure in each hand and use my fingers to bend their body parts to simulate punching and kicking. I would get up early on Saturday mornings to watch the Smurfs take on Gargamel and stay up late to watch Ghostbusters and Gremlins.If I wanted to mildly exercise my mind, I would pull out my Pocket Simon and the minutes would just fly away. I still find it challenging to match the lighted color patterns when the computer increases the speed.A child shouldn’t be denied a childhood. The awe and imagination that toys and cartoons inspire might be critical in the development of well-rounded human beings. But there isn’t one specific toy that is so desperately needed to tap into the genius of a child. There are more important things to fight for than Furby.
Kirk D. Richards, a senior majoring in journalism, can be contacted via e-mail at [email protected]. Kirk hopes for a safe, pleasant and restful holiday. His column appears on Mondays in the Lantern.
