When Ohio State put up more than $100 million to build the Schottenstein Center, I wondered what the price was for school spirit.When students met the deadline for men’s basketball tickets that the athletic department printed in the Lantern, only to receive nosebleed seats, I wondered who was sitting in ours.When I found out about the Huntington Club, both of my questions were answered.So it should not come as any surprise that the Department of Athletics is sticking it to the fans once again.At halftime of a men’s basketball game in late January, OSU athletic marketing gurus Paul Krebs and Jim Smith looked from their secluded loge and gazed upon their polished and perfected new corporate playground, and saw something that did not quite fit.The two masters of marketing used the observational skills they have acquired in the past decade and saw they owned the basketball team that was in the locker room, the band that was playing in the stands and the cheerleading squad that was on center court.But there was one person on the court who did not bring any cash into the university’s athletic department money machine: Orlas King, a.k.a. Neutron Man.Before he was known as the Neutron Man, King was known as “the dancer in 11B.” In the mid-1980s, John Woods, OSU band director, started playing “Neutron Dance” by the Pointer Sisters. When students started chanting “Neutron Man,” history was made.Not only does OSU athletics (or is it Nike?) not own Neutron Man, but think of the visual clash he created for Smith and Krebs when juxtaposed with the Perignon-sippers in the Huntington Club. I can only imagine how difficult it must have been for the merchandising wizards to decide which symbol of the OSU fan they would rather have, and which would mean more money.Now Neutron Man is no longer allowed to get jiggy with it on the basketball court when the cheerleading squad invites him.”I understand it’s reserved for the cheerleaders, not some crazy man,” Neutron Man said.OSU’s ultimate fan has been dancing with the cheerleaders for the last seven or eight years. If you have never seen the stellar performance, it starts with the cheerleaders forming a circle around him. The males then pick the females up into air, and as the cheerleaders spin out, Neutron Man is in the middle dancing.Krebs denies that Neutron Man ever danced on the basketball court before, in the Schott or at St. John Arena.”He was invited one time, and it was a mistake. We have a spirit squad; that’s our cheerleading squad.”Neutron Man is still allowed to attend games, but orders have come from above that he is not to be given any more free passes.Neutron Man does not think this is a story because he is still allowed to buy tickets and dance in the stands, so “everything’s cool.””Everything’s copacetic now, and there’s no more to it,” the rump-shaker said.Krebs thinks that if fans see Neutron Man dancing on the basketball court, what will stop them from thinking they can run out on the court too?If a fan is going to run on the court, a fan will run on the court. But any fan who knows Neutron Man can’t possibly think he is on the same plane as the 25-year dancing veteran and use him as an excuse.Krebs has assured me that it is not a liability issue that Neutron Man was banned from the basketball court. The long-time Buckeye supporter just does not belong there, Krebs said. This might be technically true, but when are they going do something for the fans that don’t put on suits to go to a basketball game?
Michael C. Bender is a senior history major from Middleburg Heights, Ohio, who owns a sport jacket, but only wears it to fencing meets.
