America’s leaders have taken patriotism to the next level. House Administration committee Chairman Bob Ney, R-Ohio, and Rep. Walter Jones, R-N.C., called a news conference Tuesday to announce the menus of House restaurants would be replacing the word “French” with the word “Freedom” alongside fries and toast.
According to Ney, the action was a “symbolic effort to show the strong displeasure of many on Capitol Hill with the actions of our so-called ally, France.” France has been one of the strongest opponents to a possible war between the United States and Iraq, and is pushing for opposition should Britain bring a United Nations resolution — which would require Iraq to pass specific tests in order to stop a U.S.-led invasion — to a vote.
The move is reminiscent of similar patriotism-inducing name changes made during World War II. To show countrywide anti-German sentiment, sauerkraut became “Victory Cabbage,” German Shepherds were called “Liberty Pups,” and hamburgers became “Liberty Steaks.”
The changes made by the House are almost perfectly parallel with those from WWII, with one exception: During WWII, the United States was at war with Germany — a country that was waging war with the world and committing the Holocaust. Today, the country we are closest to being at war with is Iraq — France is only guilty of aggressively, but peacefully, opposing the war.
Should the rest of the country follow the House’s idiocy, we will soon be watching indoor track at the Freedom Field House, kids will be Freedom-kissing in high school hallways, families will be putting Freedom’s Mustard on their burgers and productions of “Grease” will be introducing a new character — Freedomie.
Perhaps the most embarrassing faux pax is that french fries were not even created in France — they originated in Belgium. “French” only refers to the type of cut made to make the fries.
All the ridiculous terminology aside, this patriotic stunt is completely misguided. Perhaps the House found it hard to find Middle Eastern menu items to change — “Iraqi-fried” chicken has not yet established a foothold in Americanized foreign cuisine. But to launch America-supportive culinary attacks against anyone who poses no serious threat to the country is absurd and takes the political focus off our true enemies — Iraq and al Qaida.
Keep your flag raised, crochet a “Support Our Troops” sweater and keep writing letters of encouragement to those you know going overseas. But until President Jacques Chirac announces he has nuclear warheads pointed at the United States, keep french fries and french toast in your diet, and find a more sensible way of showing your pride in the red, white and blue.
