If it wasn’t for that meddlesome Paul Revere, things would be a lot different around here.

For one, we would all have British accents, which I would not be opposed to.

Second, we’d be able to shout at George Bush during sessions of Parliament – you can insert your own reason as to why that would be gold.

And thirdly and most exasperatingly, the Arctic Monkeys would have sold a lot more records since its album’s Feb. 21 release.

As I have a fascination with our cousins across the pond, I frequent their online publications daily. It was sometime last year that I caught wind of this band. My musical antenna immediately perked, because any country that hails The Strokes as “the saviours of rock” will have my undivided attention.

So I did the obvious and downloaded some leaked songs to see what the fuss was all about.

The fuss is this: The Arctic Monkeys blend the sound of older rock with today’s “The” band flair with their own twist.

Its tracks are mellow one minute and then fast, crazy rock the next. Layers of guitar tear through underlying instruments and lyrics are thoughtful. The result is catchy, gritty rock that is oddly danceable.

I was so sure they would be able to crack the states. I must live in my own delusional world.

To my dismay, only 33,738 Americans like good music, at least according to Rolling Stone. The Arctic Monkey’s debut album, “Whatever People Say I Am, That’s What I’m Not” came in at a paltry 24 on the Top 40 Albums.

Needless to say, I was baffled and a trifle miffed.

We embraced The Beatles, and then later Oasis. If having ties to Liverpool and emulating the sound of Ringo, George, John and Paul are the prerequisites for Americans to jump on the Arctic Monkey bandwagon, then I’m afraid they will never reach the level of success they are having back home.

Just like The Strokes, the Arctic Monkeys might be one of those great bands that will never be able to get under the skin of the United States no matter how hard they try or how adroit their music is.

And it isn’t them, it’s us.

Come on now people.Ssomething has to be amiss when we pick up the latest Rolling Stone and see that the number one album in the U.S. is the “High School Musical” soundtrack.

“High School Musical?”

You mean the Disney Channel movie that is a watered- down version of “Grease?”

I realize that this is a society that can’t live without it’s “American Idol,” “TRL” and sacchrine-laced pop music, but there can’t only be 33,738 people in this country that have some sense about them.

Can there?

Giving everyone the benefit of the doubt, I suppose there could be some outlying factors that contributed to the Arctic Monkeys lack of sales.

Maybe the hype hasn’t been drummed up enough in the U.S., or too many people downloaded the album for free, or the backlash has just begun.

Or perhaps the music of the Arctic Monkeys is just too British for most people’s taste.

Like their humor, it’s something most Americans will just never understand.

Which brings me back to Paul Revere.

Alicia Ritchey is a senior in journalism and English. To discuss music or buy her a plane ticket to England, e-mail her at [email protected].