Good relationships result from people being true to themselves, according to an Ohio State researcher’s study.
The study’s introduction began with a quote from William Shakespeare’s “Hamlet.”
Polonius is talking to his son Laertes during Act 1 Scene 3.
He said, “to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the
day, thou canst not then be false to any man.”
The line did not inspire the study and the use of the quote was not an afterthought. Amy Brunell, an assistant psychology professor at OSU’s Newark campus and primary author of the study, said she thought about the quote while conducting the study.
Using college students, the study focused on dispositional authenticity, people’s tendency to be true to themselves in different situations, and how it related to romantic relationships.
“When you’re your true self, you behave in more intimate, constructive ways,” Brunell said.
Honesty and openness with a partner can lead to better relationships, which also apply to people being true to themselves.
Besides leading to a better relationship, being true to one’s self can lead to higher self-esteem.
However, there are several reasons why people are not true to themselves.
“To be your true self, you have to be aware of who you are first,” Brunell said.
Another reason is some people want to conform to their groups.
“It’s scary not to conform,” she said. “How you feel is not necessarily consistent with how you’re supposed to feel, based on the group you are around.”
The study looked at 62 heterosexual college couples. The couples had been in the relationship for more than three months.
Other than contrasting schedules, it was not hard to work with college couples.
It was easy to find the couples and none of them broke up during this study, Brunell said.
The couples filled out three questionnaires, taking one every two weeks.
The study does not prove that people will be in a longer relationship, but it does show that they might be in a better relationship.
Students who were true to themselves said they were more committed, Brunell said.
The study only examined heterosexual relationships since studying homosexual couples is hard, she said. There are fewer of them and it would take a lot of time to collect enough information to see a trend.
Gender roles, which look at the differences between men and women in a relationship, are not new to psychology. However, the study’s findings might be surprising to some.
In a heterosexual relationship women usually control intimacy, which is why whether a man is true to himself relies on a woman’s behavior. A man’s behavior does not determine whether a woman is true to herself, according Brunell’s study.
The study cost less than $768 and participants were paid between $8 and $12, which was the only cost of the study. Some were not paid because they participated as part of a class, Brunell said.
The study, “Dispositional Authenticity and Romantic Relationship Functioning,” was co-written with researchers from the Universities of Georgia, the University of Texas, the University of Florida and Clayton State University. It will be published in the journal Personality and Individual Difference’s June print edition and is available online.
