I’m not going to pretend I’m above using Facebook.com.
Yeah, it’s a simple way to stay in touch with people from back home. But really, just like everyone else, I’m enticed by the ability to look into people’s lives while I should be writing history papers instead.
Because that’s what Facebook really is for-advertising yourself for other people and browsing people’s pages when you’re bored.
That’s never what alarmed me about the site. It was never about the lack of privacy – there are millions of other ways to whore out your privacy in this country – or catching glimpses of peoples’ day-to-day activities.
People will use Facebook in lieu of actual social contact, which is all fine and good if it’s for something positive like planning someone’s millionth McFadden’s happy hour, or collecting phone numbers after losing a cell phone.
What’s scary is when people use a social networking site to deal with the ugly stuff.
I’ve heard of people breaking up with their significant other on Facebook. That’s never happened to me, which is why my ancient Dell laptop isn’t broken into a thousand pieces. But Jesus, Facebook makes a voice mail look classy.
What I have encountered, on the other hand, is the Facebook de-friending.
For those who aren’t familiar, de-friending is the act of dropping someone as your Facebook friend after you added them. Apparently, it’s the Facebook equivalent of telling someone to “f**k off for good” without actually having to say it to them.
To anyone else it might seem petty, dropping someone as their fake Facebook “friend.” But to me it’s funny. We’ve gotten to the point where we can’t resolve interpersonal conflicts with face-to-face interactions.
One de-friending incident I guess I can say I deserved. A fit of rage and far too much alcohol caused me to get into an argument into the wee hours of the morning with two girls who did absolutely nothing to me. From what I remember, I yelled some awful things – I’m surprised my words were even intelligible – and I probably came across looking like a total prick.
I realized what I had done the next morning while I was brushing my teeth. And I dropped my toothbrush to go on Facebook and apologize, because ironically Facebook had eroded my social skills.
Next thing I knew I had two fewer Facebook friends. What a pity.
Another de-friending came from a girl I was friends with in the real world for a time. I don’t know what brought on her sudden animosity. And the funny part is, because she de-Facebooked me without a word, I’ll never know.
Maybe that’s the point.
Not only had she de-Facebooked me one day, she de-Facebooked two of my friends who know her and even my brother, who had only spoken to her on one occasion.
I left her alone to rot, because I obviously had already made enough of a dent.
My buddy Danny from freshman year, after getting fed up with me writing insults on his Facebook wall, chose to ban me from said wall.
We have remained friends, and we hang out all the time, but I guess in Facebook land we’re estranged.
I was definitely busting his balls too much back then, but I still see it is as a silly way to get back at me.
That same friend admitted to me recently that he had de-Facebooked his roommate from freshman year because he had pissed him off too many times, only to be reunited as Facebook friends a few years later.
“Wait a minute, who did the Facebook request the second-time? You or him?” I couldn’t resist asking.
“It was him, but I accepted quickly. It was–” he then made the awkward turtle motion with his hands, and I understood.
Graham Beckwith is The Lantern’s Arts & Life Editor. He can be reached at [email protected].
