Courtesy of MCT
Whenever someone passes me by on campus riding a scooter I get a strange sensation in the pit of my stomach.
I’m not talking about a vehicle stereotypical Italian men I imagine smoothly saying to female tourists, “Come ride my Vespa,” would ride. I am referring to the folding metal Razor scooters that were the hit from The Sharper Image in 2000.
Every time I see one, I just want to shout, “You are a toy! T-O-Y, TOY!” like Woody says to Buzz Lightyear in the Disney Pixar classic “Toy Story.”
I have a personal vendetta against those who ride their scooters around campus. I have never been assaulted, abused or harmed by anyone with a Razor scooter. Nor did I ever fall off one as a kid and hurt myself.
I just consider the Razor scooter to be a toy that teens and pre-teens ride down to the nearest convenience store, then return home on while sipping on their fountain drink or ICEE.
There once was a time I loved the idea of pushing my own dead weight around on a collapsible piece of metal with two wheels attached.
I begged my parents to buy this magical transportation device most kids my age had and required very little balance. Truth be told, I was not the most coordinated individual as a child. Finally for my 10th birthday I received the scooter, and in that moment it was the coolest toy ever.
As the months passed the toy became dull and the realization came to me it was not a sufficient mode of transportation, especially when ridden over rough surfaces. Eventually it went into the bin of old toys and probably did not see the light of day for years.
Fast forward to me packing for college. Not once did I go through my old toys and have delusions of grandeur of bringing a toy to college like Andy in the third installment of “Toy Story” when he seriously considers taking Woody with him.
In my mind, the only logical thought process that would make them decide to ride one of these toys is, “I’m too lazy to walk around campus, too impatient to wait for a bus, not coordinated enough to ride a skateboard, a bike is much too large and cumbersome and they get stolen even when you lock them up.”
If this is your thought process then yes I completely understand why someone would scooter around campus.
Moral of the story children: the Razor scooter is not an appropriate form of transportation for a college student. Grow up, start walking, get a bike or ride the bus.