Throughout the nation, rolling backpacks are quickly becoming a new fashion statement among ubermetrosexual men. Once viewed as a staple only for flight attendants and pilots, this trend is quickly rolling into classrooms all over campuses, including Ohio State’s.
Nicknamed “rollies” (singular “rolly”, but not to be confused with the British slang term for a rolled fag), these Samsonite-sensations have been shrunk in size from their business-world traveling counterparts, ergonomically tested for minimized drag and fashion fixed for super-style.
“I see total hotties wearing Hollister graphic tees and trailing rollies,” said Sue Rority, a freshman in fashion design. “I think they are so necessary for all the rolling hills on campus. I mean, I don’t need one to carry my books, but I guess hot men might.”
According to www.fatherhood.about.com, the Consumer Products Safety Commission found approximately 3,400 children were treated in emergency rooms in 1999 for injuries related to backpacks. Many orthopedic surgeons tell parents to limit backpack weight to 20 percent of their child’s body weight to prevent injuries; hence parents everywhere are buying the new wheeled backpacks.
“When Tevin went to college, I was concerned about his posture. I thought all those big college books might morph his muscle physique and permanently slant his shoulders,” said John Haggalage, the father of Tevin Haggalage, a junior in honors classics. “The last thing I wanted was my boy to move from Batavia to the big city of Columbus, and come home less masculine with less muscle. So I bought him a rolly.”
Tevin Haggalage, who weighs 200 lbs., said, “most of that weight is due to my Skyline chili habit.” Therefore, using the calculation suggested by the Consumer Products Safety Commission and orthopedic surgeons, Haggalage’s backpack should weigh 40 lbs. to make his rolly worth its weight. On average, according to www.collegestats.com, the average undergrad backpack tops out at 18.3 lbs.
Not so in grad school though. There, the average backpack weighs in at 34.8 lbs, almost double an undergrads.
“I bought my first rolly when I was accepted at Moritz (College of Law). I knew carting around all my books and treatises would be too heavy,” said Rob Petman.
But Petman said his rolly has not worked out as well as planned.
“Either I have to wait for the single law school elevator with the emeritus professors, or roll to the stairs, snap down the handle, carry it up the steps and then repeat on the next landing. It’s such a bitch for classes on the third floor,” he said.
A man interested in upgrading to a rolly should consider the terrain. While they work well on sidewalks and pavement, rollies can be a problem in snow, or if used while walking across a field or vacant lot. Sometimes they are also a little difficult when negotiating the narrow aisles of lockers or getting through crowded hallways. Think through the route to school and see if a rolling backpack makes sense. And try not to get beat up on the way.
