We women have got to take the good with the bad. Madeleine Albright is good. Mother Teresa was good. The Lilith fair was good. Women with their own Nike lines are very good. But sometimes these good things obstruct our view of the bad things. They give us something to point to when things aren’t so good. We let the bad things slide by under our noses without making a big stink. When we wonder out loud why we have never had a female university president at Ohio State, why the Lantern opinion pages are dominated by men, why Title IX still has not been enforced, why we have not passed the ERA in 70 years, why Bill is President instead of Hillary, and why girls are sluts and guys are studs, some idiot points out, ‘Well hey, you got the WNBA!’ So indulge me for about 500 words while I make sure a couple of recent events don’t slide by without us realizing they weren’t so good.There’s the obvious Clinton scandal. I was asked why I didn’t stick up for Monica. Well, because I think that Monica knew what she was doing, and because I think she was pretty damn stupid. The affair is not what bothers me. I’m bothered because everyone is making all these funny jokes that the real problem is, if Clinton was going to cheat, why didn’t he at least do it with some good-looking women? Ha, ha. Great. Funny. We chastise our president not because he may have lied or because he may have taken advantage of women, but rather because the women he picked weren’t hot. Well my question is, what were Gennifer and Monica thinking? Clinton’s white flesh is no more appealing than theirs. And how about the Winter Olympics? Everyone’s watching the women’s ice skating team, those hot newcomers who will go for the gold. Well, guess what? The average age of our figure skating team is 16. Why are the men’s teams significantly older? We are watching minors in skimpy leotards because the standards we set for women figure skaters are only feasible for rubber pubescent bodies. Adult female bodies are not built to score perfect sixes in today’s competition. Plus no annoying views, attitudes or stubborn personalities to deal with. And have no fear, in the summer Olympics we have gymnastics to fill this void.Oh, and how about the 25th anniversary of the Roe v. Wade decision? Funny how I kept hearing Norma McCorvey, the plaintiff ‘Jane Roe,’ and how she saw the light and converted to pro-lifehood. It is her ‘sincere prayer’ that we never see the decision’s 30th anniversary, and she has dedicated the rest of her life to reversing it. What a way to celebrate.Let’s also take a look at the music scene. What groups made it big this year? Well, besides Mace and Biggy and their bitches and hoes, the Spice Girls! Oooh, girl power, if you wanna be my lover, Spice World! Great, let’s teach our daughters that girl power is wearing really short skirts and having generic nicknames.All right, let’s take a trip to the movies. Last year’s sleeper hit, ‘Chasing Amy,’ embodied every male fantasy: a guy who draws cartoons for a living seduces a gorgeous self-proclaimed lesbian and teaches her that penises are the way to go. And then he dumps her on her butt because he finds out that his wasn’t really her first penis. Is this sending a message?Commercials? It’s almost the year 2000 and we still have moms, not dads, advertising laundry detergents and tile cleaners. And don’t forget, if you have gray hair, your husband is 73 percent more likely trade you in for a trophy wife, so buy Clairol.That’s what I see when I look out at the world. Call it cynical, call it paranoid, call it whiny, call it an exaggeration. I call it indicative of the way our society really works while we’re busy reveling in our supposedly perfect country.So in spite of women’s Olympic ice hockey, a co-ed VMI, and all of the really cool chicks in this world, keep an eye on the bad stuff, because we’ve still got a long way to go.
Jessica Weeks’ column appears on Mondays.
